I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize