last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
