Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
