We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
