I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
