she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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