"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
