fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
