I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
