Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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