Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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