Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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