she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
