there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
