I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do herpes really smell.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
