so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
