census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize