How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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