Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
