she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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