Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
