I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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