Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
