god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Screwed.edu
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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