I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
