Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
