Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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