fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Are we still banned from the library?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
