If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
