I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
