Do vagina's smell?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dick very happy bro
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
