does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
