Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
