we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
