Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
