Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Small penises have feelings too.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
