OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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