I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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