Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize