lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
