We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
