More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
