i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize