One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
