You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
