So gin and wine won't be happening again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
