Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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