I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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