p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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