I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
