Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
