My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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