So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
