FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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