you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
