my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
