Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
