Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
