God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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