perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
