I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need a beard to bite.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I smell like Dick and happiness
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
