Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
